Things I would do if I had a magic wand or a bewitched nose or at least a crew of helpful mice like in Cindarella:

• 
• Magically arrange and put away all the tons of stuff in boxes and lying in piles around the new apartment.


• Remove the ugly mini-blinds in my new apartment and replace them with lovely curtains.
  




• Stop time long enough to lie on my big fluffy couch and read books until I fall asleep.
  
• Magically and neatly fold fitted sheets and put them in the linen closet.
  


• Collect all the stuff that needs to go to Goodwill and float it down the street and into the donations box.
  
• Fix whatever is wrong with my printer.
  
• Return light bulbs that don’t work and magically select the ones that do from the aisle at Target dedicated to 6,503 sizes of light bulbs.
  
• Make a big fat ice cream sundae for my boyfriend for doing tons of handiwork.


• I may as well make one for myself while I'm at it.


• Clean the old place.
  
• Type up a brilliant prospectus and residency application and slide them into the mailbox with correct postage.
  
• Install a 3-pronged electrical outlet next to my bathroom sink. (There are no working outlets in my bathroom—none.)
  
• Re-pot all my plants.
  
• Find something to put in the weird-shaped, unusable fireplace spot in my living room that covers up the electrical outlet (there IS an outlet right in the middle of the fireplace-hole! WTF?) that fits and doesn’t look funky. Candelabra? Pillows? Lamp?