10. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed9. "Party hats" look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones
8. "Ball drop" at midnight consists of a trick your Uncle Earl does when he's loaded
7. "Champagne" really apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer
6. You notice a "Happy 1999" tag on the package of shrimp you've been eating all night
5. The host kicks everyone out at 11:58 so he can go to bed
4. The only guests are you and Richard Simmons, and guess who wants a New Year's Eve kiss?
3. The Amish can do many things well, but throwing parties ain't one of them
2. It's just you and a dozen Mullahs in a cave
1. It's held in March
3 comments:
Wow. Did you, like, go to that party?
Fortunately, no. My NYE party was great. Lovely friends, hot chili, a cute baby, a furry dog, a fire outside on a snowy night and a very handsome fellow to kiss. A good start to the year.
the apple juice part brought back painful memories :)
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