I'm engaged in an ongoing battle with squirrels. I live next to a park, and there are millions of them. They have parties on my roof. They've busted into my place and broken my stained glass window and clawed up my window sills. When I moved in, I had a refrigerator on the balcony (long story) and they used to break into it and put little teeth marks in the butter and steal whole eggs. A few days ago, I put my orchid on the deck to get some sun, and when I went outside to collect it, all the leaves had been munched on.I want to take them all out with a sling shot. But do I? No, I do not. I am nice.
Last winter, I planted 6 tulip bulbs in pots on my balcony. Everyone's tulips but mine are growing. So today, I decided to dig one up to see what the deal was--Are there roots? Are they all duds? What?
The tulip bulbs are gone. GONE. All six of them. In their place I found a peanut (in the whole shell--two little peanuts) and a stone. The squirrels stole all freakin' six of my tulip bulbs and planted a G.D. peanut and a frickin' rock.
Growl. They have not heard the last from me.
8 comments:
I feel your pain.. I have huge families of them living in my back yard. They torment my dogs - but the dogs are getting smart and soon they will get even...
They taunt my dog. Sometimes I throw rocks or pinecones at them, and they run AT the projectile.
Also, some years ago, when I lived in a different place, a squirrel KILLED my neighbor's CAT.
Down with squirrels.
What are your feelings on chipmunks? I'm just wondering if I should hide my Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers DVDs from your marauding vengeance.
What kind of mutant squirrels do you have that can break into a refrigerator?!
That totally sucks about your flowers. This is why I don't garden.
There is a dead flash-frozen squirrel in my yard that died last winter and was preserved under the snow until recently. It's kind of sad actually. But at least it won't torment my dog.
Get the slingshot. You have our persmission to shoot 'em.
I am a card carrying member of the "Squirrels Suck And Should All Die A Miserable Death" Club. Dues are free. I figured you'd want to join so I've sent you an informative leaflet about our organization to your home address. Enjoy!
I think they team up and have weekly meetings to plan how to torment the hell out of me. Little rodenty, icky pain-in-the-ass bastards.
My deep and abiding hatred for squirrels almost rivals my love of grog and Spanish dubloons. All I can tell you is that back when I was trying to kill them with just a slingshot it did me no good. Terribly inaccurate, and when I did score a hit the shot just bounced off the fat bastards! Granted, when I fire a broadside of grapeshot it tends to alarm the neighbors and attract the attention of the constabulary. What us urban anti-squirrel warriors truly need are pistols with silencers - James Bond style.
Death to the bushy-tailed tree rats!
Post a Comment